Sunday, June 25, 2017

June: trucks, birthdays, showers, oh my!



There's actually quite a bit to catch up on, so I hope everybody is prepared. I celebrated my 29th birthday on June 17th! I have been having a hard time with the last 20s. I was very unhappy to turn 28 and then this past birthday I kept forgetting how old I was because I'd been saying I was "almost 30" for so long. 

On my actual birthday Keith and I drove up to SLO for the day (it was a 5:45am leave time to a 2:15 end time which almost killed me) for a combination celebration: we celebrated my sister's briday shower and then the cumulative birthdays for me, my older sister, Keith, my brother in law, my soon to be brother in law, and we also celebrated Father's Day!

My sister Angenette is getting married on July 29th. She and her boyfriend have been together for like, 8 years so I mean IT'S ABOUT TIME GUYS, RIGHT?





Katelynne is going to be one of four (yes, I typed that right) flower girls, and don't tell anybody but I think she might be the star of the show. She's starting to be such a little ham! She recently started taking ballet classes and she's obsessed with being a "bannerina." It's pretty adorable.

Keith's birthday was on May 29th, and for his birthday I allowed him to buy a new truck! We took his truck up to SLO for my birthday - I didn't want to drive, and I'm not ready to drive his brand new truck so this seemed like a perfect solution.


On an unrelated note, do you know anybody who wants to buy a 2010 green Toyota Tacoma?

Over this past weekend we went to see a friend's band play at Big Bear Lake. It was at this performance that I made a new friend, Rebekah, and realized I looooove vodka sodas. Ordering a vodka soda sounds really grown up. IS THIS WHAT BEING 29 HAS DONE TO ME?




And that's it, for now. Thanks for reading about my life and stuff. bye.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Stuff My Husband Says



Husband: I love you so much, you're the prettiest girl ever!
Me: Aww, I love you too!
Husband: ...I was talking to the dog.


Me: Please don't buy anything from the store except salsa. I went grocery shopping and I have lots of healthy food and I have meals planned.
*One hour later*
Husband: Look! I bought Hamburger Helper!


Me: Hey, did you wash this bowl?
Husband: Yeah.
Me: Did you use soap?
Husband: Yeah.
Me: Did you use a sponge?
Husband: I used my fingers. Isn't that the same?

*One week when we were on a healthy eating kick*
Husband: No, don't put any salt on my vegetables. We're being healthy.
*Two hours later when I found him eating Reese's Puffs out of the carton on the couch and accused him of being a hypocrite*
Husband: What? It's healthy. It's cereal.


*After I asked him to please bring home a cucumber*
Me: Why did you bring me a zucchini?
Husband: ...what's the difference?


Husband: You know, before you I used to keep the same spoon in my work truck and I'd use it every day to eat chili out of a can and I'd clean it with spit.


Me: Are you really watching soccer? AGAIN?
Husband: Yes, I'm trying to get into it.
Me: *large groan*
Husband: What?
Me: It's just... there's always some kind of sport on.
Husband: That is literally the point.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

You must be pregnant

Let me list for you some conversations I've had with people who either really want me to be pregnant owho are really convinced that I'm already pregnant. PSA: This is never okay. DO NOT BE THIS 'PERSON.'

Person: Huh, you look tired today.
*Pauses, looks around room, then leans in and whispers loudly:*
ARE YOU PREGNANT


Person: Are you pregnant?
Me: No.
Person: Want some candy?
Me: Yes.
Person: A CRAVING. YOU'RE PREGNANT, I KNEW IT!



Me: I have a pimple.
Person: OMG PREGNANCY HORMONES.



Person: How long have you been married?
Me: A year and eight months.
Person: OMG YOU MUST BE PREGNANT.



Person: Why aren't you pregnant?
Me: It's not the right time and it's also NOYB
Person: LOL OK BUT U R PROBS PREGNANT RN



Me: None of my clothes fit me anymore.
Person: Because you're pregnant?
Me: No, Deborah, because I've been eating too much ice cream and I've gotten too chunky.
Person: PREGNANT PEOPLE EAT ICE CREAM OMG YOU'RE PREGNANT.



Me; Wow does anybody else smell that?
Person: YOU SENSE OF SMELL IS GETTING STRONG U MUST BE PREGNANT.


TL;DR: I am not pregnant; please stop making assumptions.