Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Currently I'm...

I love when people write "Currently I'm..." posts. It's an easy and fun way to catch up with people and Lord knows I need easy and fun with how sparse and forgotten my blogging has gotten. So here we go. Currently I'm:


...to remember to make an appointment to get my hair done. I've been trimming it myself and ignoring the inches deep brown roots and with summer coming in a few months I need to lighten up. Maybe a lob? HA NO WAY.

...to be a better cook and be better about cooking healthy meals. French bread is just SO EASY to pop into the broiler and ice cream is just SO COMFORTING.


...these sunglasses I got on clearance at the Van Heusen outlet by the lake (pictured). I was looking for more of an Aviator style like I usually wear, but these cat eye sunglasses (don't have a link, not trying that hard) have clawed (see what I did there) their way onto my face and I'm obsessed. I don't know why, but I asked Keith if he liked them and his response was, "Uh... sure." Me, "SURE?" Him, "Uh, I guess they don't seem like you. I DON'T KNOW." Also I asked Keith to take a picture of me by the lake and he only took one and he didn't even give me a chance to use my angles or fix my posture or ANYTHING. Such a bad blog husband.

...Diet Orange Crush. WHO LOVES ORANGE SODA?


Reminiscing about...

...our lazy weekend. Even though we both have fairly normal M-F jobs, I feel like we hardly see each other during the weeks. It's my fault, because I'm sometimes at work until 8pm and then I'm just exhausted so I take a bubble bath and then go to bed. But on the weekends I'm on trips, or he's on trips, or he's doing his search and rescue, or football is on... it's just hard to spend good quality uninterrupted time together. But this weekend we soaked it all in and also ate a crap ton of food and now I need to spend some quality time with broccoli and a treadmill.

...Canada. I haven't blogged Canada yet because Faith and I still have to send each other the videos we took (because we vlogged the trip YOU'RE WELCOME) and I have to be emotionally prepared to accept that I'm not actually in Canada anymore, which is hard to do. Faith, I miss you.

I think that's it for now. Love you all, maybe I'll be back with actual content at some point but don't hold your breath. I'm definitely not an overachiever.

Monday, February 1, 2016

How my husband's bachelor pad almost killed me

Lately I've been on a cleaning kick. This has happened because when Keith and I got married I moved into the house he'd lived in alone for the past 4 years and "bachelor pad" doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm talking skulls and football helmets on the mantel, a deer head on the floor, Star Wars and James Bond posters on the walls, a ping pong table in the dining room, and more. Our home is the exact opposite of "Pinterest perfect" and it's so manified that I'm embarrassed to invite people over.

Want to see some pictures? Ok let's take a tour inside of my lovely Pinterest-y home.

If you need to use the restroom when you visit this is what you'll get. The "Sexy Cats" book is my addition.

This is the mantel. The fireplace doesn't work because of something to do with the floo and being dirty, idk. We basically have "his" and "hers" sections of the fireplace and I think it's working really well for us, wouldn't you agree?

When you first walk into the house, this is the sight which will assault your eyeballs. Super feminine. I've since changed this part by alphabetizing all of the DVDs. The section looks the same but I feel better about it.

All those nooks and crannies are perfect places for dust and cobwebs to collect. Krista told me it's because there are just a lot of spiders in the mountains, and that's annoying. I've been vacuuming like a crazy lady lately because if I can't change the house [yet] at least I can change the amount of spiders in it!


The other night, at about 10:30pm, I was vacuuming in our bedroom right next to the bed. I was just minding my own business and being a clean person when I moved my pillows slightly and GOT ATTACKED. I've always been afraid of being attacked in my home (I blame the scary movies we watch) and this night IT HAPPENED. I moved the pillow and out jumped a spider the size of MY SHOE.

My Barbie's shoe, but still, MY SHOE.

I screamed bloody murder and immediately vacuumed that sucker up, screaming frantically the whole time. Then I stood there, shaking, while I comprehended the fact that I ALMOST DIED. 

"What the [censored] am I supposed to do now??" I wondered to myself, shaking uncontrollably. I gathered myself and walked upstairs to where Keith was playing Elder Scrolls with his friend (virtually, so cool right? -__-) and said, "Um, Keith, I need you to come downstairs RIGHT NOW PLEASE."

To my surprise he obeyed and when he got to the bedroom I basically started bawling.

Through my blubbering, I explained, "I was vacuuming and I moved the pillow and a spider the size of A QUARTER jumped out and I vacuumed it up but I need you to check the rest of the bed and under the bed and the closet and outside and did I mention it was the size of a shoe and I ALMOST DIED."

He responded by saying, "It was only the size of a quarter? That's not bad. Usually they're the size of a half dollar."

So then I slapped him and continued my mature and appropriately reacting behavior by sobbing harder. After he'd sufficiently checked the bed, I vacuumed the bed, between the mattress and box spring, under the bed, under the nightstands, around the baseboards, then emptied the vacuum container into the kitchen trash and then took the kitchen trash to the trash can in the garage,

and then I burned the house down.

Obviously not, that last part, but I don't think that would have been unreasonable. All I can say is at least the spider didn't jump at me, because that has happened before. Remind me why I still live here?? Just kidding. Sort of.

The moral of the story is that if I had a girly Pinterest-y house peonies instead of football helmets on the mantel, I probably wouldn't get eaten alive by spiders in my sleep.