Friday, January 30, 2015

Things I'm bad at + selfies

Oh I'm in a GREAT mood. JUST GREAT. You can sense the sarcasm, right? It's not that this week has been especially bad, it's just that I've been in an especially bad mood. SO. because of that I decided to grace you all with a list of things I suck at and also some lovely selfies of my face. You are so welcome. Don't say I never gave you anything.

I'm gonna start giving myself a combover. Ya like?
Being subtle. I'm so bad at this. Sometimes I think I'll subtly ask Keith if he wants to watch one of my shows with me, like Scandal, Parenthood, etc etc, but when you ask somebody, "Soooooo how do you feel about maybe watching a show I love?" it's not that hard to figure out the answer you want from them.

Cat eye eyeliner. How do you guys do it? I've tried that whole "draw a line from the corner of your eye out a half inch and then draw in the eyeliner" or whatever buy you guys, I can't even explain it so that should tell you how good I am at actually doing it. #tightliningforlyfe

Prioritizing. This is actually a big part of what I need to do at work and I'm terrible at it. The problem there is that there are SO MANY THINGS that are important that I have a hard time making the decision about what is MOST important. Which leads me to the next thing...

...making decisions. I do NOT like making decisions. Keith and I are trying to decide what to do for the Super Bowl this weekend and he keeps asking me what I want to do and I honestly don't care. And sometimes he's like, "what do you want for dinner?" and I'm like "I don't care," but he doesn't interpret that as me not caring, so we end up having like an hour long conversation about what to have for dinner and it usually ends up with either flautas or vegetables and I don't even know why he bothers asking anymore.

Showering daily. I mean, if I work out or do something where I get gross, I have no problem showering daily. I'm not disgusting, you guys. I just don't see the point of showering unnecessarily.

Tweezing my eyebrows. Look, I have a boyfriend, and it's pretty serious. I don't need to impress anybody anymore aaaaaaaand I kind of hate tweezing my eyebrows.

Getting up at my first alarm. It doesn't matter if my alarm is going off at 7am, 9am, or 11am. I will NOT get up at my first alarm. In fact, if I'm setting my alarm for 9 when I don't need to get up til 11, I won't get up til 1015! Suck it, alarms.

Going to the eye doctor. I haven't actually been to the eye doctor since like.... either 2012 or early 2013. It's been at least if not more than 2 years. When I'm wearing my contacts I have to squint, and when I wear my glasses I should probably be considered a danger to society but like, the eye doctor is expensive.

Not picking my cuticles. Keith hates this about me. We'll be sitting on the couch watching tv and he'll elbow me frequently which I've come to realize means, if you don't stop picking at your cuticles I am going to murder you and bury you in a field somewhere nobody will ever find you. But still, I can't stop. SORRY.

Blogging on a regular basis. This was super easy back when I had a job which didn't require me to do much work and which allowed me to drink wine at 930am and nobody either a) cared, or b) had any idea. But now I have more work than EVER and it's stressful and when I'm not working I'm like, "Blogging? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *SIPS WINE*"
Doing anything on my iPhone which requires iOS7 or later. I can't facetime, I can't check my bank account on the Chase bank app, I can't download the paypal app... basically anything fun I can't do. It's fine I'm fine (stealing that phrase from Natalie because I love it.) Except tonight I had a serious challenge because all I wanted to do was facetime slash skype Melanie and MY STUPID PHONE WOULD NOT LET ME DAMMIT. Thank god for work computers.

I WOULD like to say I'm an expert at wrapping my blanket scarf around myself. Ya like, right? RIGHT? Too bad it hasn't been cold enough to wear it lately ugh life is so hard and my blanket scarf is so lonely.

COME BACK NEXT WEEK SO I CAN TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY BLATE WITH AMBER. Also check Instagram this week because hopefully it'll be poppin' with our shenanigans. IF YOU'RE LUCKY.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Everything that has sucked lately aka such a [not] uplifting post

If you want me to be honest (and I know you do because I know everything because I'm a genius obviously duh) the past few days have not been wonderful. Basically I feel like an angry and emotional psychotic person who has these weird superpowers of making everything go wrong. And probably my face and hair are constantly in this state.

It all started on Friday when I went to work and thought everything was going to be fine because I only work 9-1 on Fridays and then Keith and I were going on a road trip to go see my family for my mom's 65th and my grandma's 99th birthdays. I was looking forward to seeing Baby Kate, gas is practically free, and I was looking forward to maybe stopping at this one shopping center and going engagement ring shopping and basically everything was looking up.

Well the first thing that sucked was when I left work at 1 and when I stopped at the post office I checked my e-mail because god forbid I be away from social media for 5 minutes and I saw an e-mail my boss had sent me at one o'clock saying he needed something by the end of the day. I was like forget that! because I left at 1 and I always leave at 1 on Fridays so why would he send an e-mail when I left and hopefully he wasn't expecting a reply and UGH.

So then we were about to leave Keith's house and I was like, "Hey, want a skinny cow ice cream sandwich for the road?" and Keith was like, "YES I DO THANKS FOR BEING THE BEST AT EVERYTHING!"*** but then in the ruckus of putting the dogs in the car I left the ice cream sandwiches in the house and they melted and did not make their ways into our mouth holes.

***I believe his actual reply was more along the lines of, "Uh, sure."

So then I was like "Let's stop at Target for candy and those wintergreen Lifesavers that do horrible things to my intestines but I still eat them and he was like "ok" so we went to Target and I was getting birthday cards for mom and grandma and Keith said, "Oh I'm going to get your Valentine's Day card now!" and I was like "omg you're so sweet" and then he said, "Cool, the Valentine's Day section is right here!" but he was looking at the itty bitty 99 cent section and he didn't believe me when I said there was a whole WALL of VD cards and how did he not notice it when we walked right past it?


Then he put my card in the basket and said, "Don't look at it and also I forgot my wallet so you're gonna have to buy it" and I was indignant and then I started laughing because it was just so ridiculous. "But at least I remembered to get you a Valentine's Day card!" he said, and I guess he gets points for that? Maybe? Don't worry, on Sunday I gave him so much crap for making me buy my own card that he threw $3.50 at me while I was driving and then I said, "I'm only worth $3.50 to you??" and he didn't think that was funny.

Then we went to the place with the engagement rings but he was wearing sweats and I was in a bad mood because my cuticles were ugly so I pouted and refused to shop for engagement rings so basically we're never getting married.

The rest of the night was fine, the drive was safe, we went to SLO the next day and the birthdays were good but I forgot to take pictures of Baby Kate and I'm still mad about that.

So then on Sunday I didn't get up early enough to shower because I am the laziest so I felt all gross and dirty at church, and then we went to lunch with Keith's grandparents and it was delicious but then when we walked out to my car GUESS WHAT WE SAW?

Some jackwad had parked so close to Bruce Wayne that he or she was actually TOUCHING Bruce's butt. INAPPROPRIATE!! And also... YOU BASICALLY HIT MY CAR!!! So I took pictures and stared at the restaurant hoping that the jackwad saw me and was like, "Oh, I'm a total idiot for parking so close to that pretty black car when there was like four feet of available space behind me and I definitely didn't need to touch the butt."

Keith told me it would not be good to go back into the restaurant yelling. Whatever.

OH ALSO. Saturday night I don't know what happened but my right wrist started KILLING me. And when I was trying to pack on Sunday I basically cried because it was so sore! I couldn't touch anything because it felt like my wrist was falling off.

So all day Sunday while I was driving (Keith offered to drive but I said no because I'm selfish or something) I couldn't use my right hand because it hurt to even touch the steering wheel. And then when we were driving at like 10pm on the two lane HIGHWAY in the pitch black a man ran out in front of my car. Like, he legitimately ran in front of my car and if Keith hadn't yelled and made me swerve I most definitely would have hit him going 59 miles an hour.

But the worst part of that was that I jerked the wheel with my sore wrist and made it even MORE sore. ANOTHER JERKWAD IN THE WORLD.

We finally got back to the mountain around midnight on Sunday night, and I didn't work 'til noon on Monday so I got to sleep in, which was great. I was so happy. I slept well, my coffee was delicious, I didn't gain 5 lbs from the breadsticks I ate at Olive Garden... life was looking up!

...until I left for work and realized I had left my work computer four hours away at my parents' house in San Luis Obispo. IDIOT.

Then I went to work convinced that I was going to have to just go ahead and drive home and back to get my computer, and obviously I was the biggest idiot for forgetting my computer, and also I could hardly move my wrist, and my eyes were so dry, and I totally cried like all day because I'm not dramatic.

Then we watched Revenge and I just don't understand where Jack's eyebrows are. Also that whole show makes me roll my eyes because it's DUMB but I can't stop watching.

Oh and while we were with my family I accidentally told people about how I tried to make pulled pork last week but it "wouldn't pull" and later I found out that the plug had come out and that's probably why it was purple and difficult to cut and everybody kept making fun of me which normally wouldn't upset me but, you know, hormones.

But then tonight I saw this sign at the grocery store and it made me happy that somebody corrected the imbeciles who work at the mountain grocery store.

Updates: My wrist is now fine, my dad is shipping me my computer and I should have it by the end of the day, I plan on mailing Jack an eyeprow brush and powder, and no damage was done to Bruce Wayne from the jackwad.

Thanks for playing. How has YOUR week been?

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Two weeks with no poo

Two and a half weeks ago I decided to bite the bullet (where did that saying come from and WHAT does it even mean?) and stop washing my hair. Gross, right? WRONG. IT'S NOT GROSS IS THE BEST THING EVER. It feels thicker, bouncier, shinier, and way less greasy. I started doing this out of curiosity, but after 16 days I might be hooked... or I might now. We'll see. So, do you want details? Fine.
I'm currently going about a week in between washes, but I definitely feel like I could go longer. It doesn't get greasy or anything, but sometimes you just need to get your scalp wet, you know? Or is that just me? So anyway, I just eyeball the amounts of baking soda and apple cider vinegar I use. The baking soda stays in the kitchen, so I have to sort of plan ahead, and if I know I'm going to wash my hair I need to remember to take about a tablespoon of baking soda in a cup to the shower with me. The first time I did this I thought it would be smart to use filtered water to mix with the baking soda, so I filled my cup with about a cup of cold Brita water from the fridge and then I almost passed out when I was in the hot shower and I dumped a cup of freezing water on my head. I felt like Keith probably feels sometimes when I accidentally flush upstairs while he's in the shower downstairs.
I pour the mixture on my scalp and massage, massage, massage. Then I rinse. And I do NOT let the mixture get into my eyes because I like my corneas. Keep that ish out of your eyeballs.
After I've rubbed that in I let it sit on my scalp for a minute or two and then I use the ACV. I keep the apple cider vinegar in the shower and then try to eyeball about a tablespoon of that into the cup and fill the cup up like halfway with WARM water. Then I do the same thing I do with the baking soda: massage and let it be.
Then I rinse it out and I try to take short, slow breaths because apple cider vinegar mixed with steamy shower water is disgusting and it makes me feel like I'm an Easter egg being dyed and just no thanks. While my hair is still damp I use my Biosilk silk therapy on the ends because I love that stuff.
So, as if no 'pooing my hair wasn't enough, I also decided to see how long I can go without using heat on my hair. This means no blow drying, no flat ironing, no curling. NOTHING. My hair is pretty fried from years of dye and heat and infrequent trims, so I decided I'd give it a break and see if I could deal with my natural hair. After three days without washing or using heat, it looked fine when I fluffed it and positioned my head juuuuuuuuuust right. But really, I think the last time I went without washing or heat styling my hair was when Keith and I went to Yosemite and my hair was in a ponytail the whole time.

 Did you guys know that taking selfies of just your hair is really hard to do? I don't know how to pose my hair. I mean, it's HAIR. But Wednesday night, on the 7th day of no 'poo or heat, I remembered to take some pictures so you could kind of see what my hair looks like now. And I don't know about you, but all I can see in this picture is like a million split ends, which is why for the past few days I've been taking my dollar store scissors and trying to give myself a little trim. I think I've cut off almost two inches so far. Don't tell my aunt.

 In this next picture I saw my curling iron on the windowsill and I was staring at it thinking, "I'll come back to you soon, old friend. I miss you too."

Sooooo that's about it for this no 'poo update. I'm seriously glad I had already gotten used to not washing my hair much because I think I totally skipped the whole "transitional period" and I haven't noticed any bad changes in my hair.

I am a LITTLE concerned because I keep hearing about people who totally fried their hair using the no 'poo method and my goal is to NOT fry my hair so I guess I'll just let you know what happens with that.

The end.


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Mistakes I make in my relationship

I hate taking pictures in bad lighting because then I have to use the flash and then our eyes are all red and my face is shiny and white but I figured you would probably want to see a picture from when we watched the Packers blow their lead and crush our dreams of them going to the Superbowl. You would think that because I'm a Dodger fan I'm used to disappointment but I'm not used to it. I hate it, actually.

Moving on...

I was planning on coming to you guys and bragging about how I'm an expert at relationships since I've had a boyfriend for 10 1/2 months, but I'm honest with myself and I know that really the only thing I'm an expert at is making sandwiches and sleeping in til noon. So instead of bragging (and lying) about how awesome I am at relationships, I decided instead to share with you some of the mistakes I've made. I KNOW, I KNOW. I make mistakes??? IT'S TRUE. I DO. Sometimes and only on days ending in "-y."

The first and possibly worst mistake I've made so far was cooking chili for dinner on the first night we saw each other after 4 years apart. Seriously, that was awful. The chili was delicious, of course, but you know the jingle, "beans beans the musical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot!" Well, it's true. We both had awful gas but of course we couldn't let the other person know because I'm a lady and everybody knows ladies don't fart pass gas. Finally I got up to go to the bathroom but in doing so I pressed down r i g h t on his stomach (AKA the danger zone) and I will always be thankful that he was able to hold everything inside. The next night I made tacos. I'll never learn. This is probably TMI. A lot of TMI. Sorry.

Something I do way often is telling him, "It's fine, you can do whatever you want" when he asks what I want to do on a given day. For some reason he takes that to mean he can actually do whatever he wants so he'll watch a tv show I don't care about or play a video game I don't care about while I'm left to my own devices. Usually I end up playing trivia crack or watching Gilmore Girls and I love both of those things, but I also get offended that he doesn't just want to sit and watch Titanic and You've Got Mail with me while he massages my shoulders and feeds me grapes. What do boys learn in school???

Another mistake I make constantly is Assigning Intent. That's a fancy term I learned in college for "thinking you know why the other person did something." Like, oh, Keith didn't hold my hand while we watched Arrested Development? He's obviously mad at me or he doesn't love me anymore. He didn't comment on how my hair still looks okay even though it's been five days since I last washed it? He doesn't feel attracted to me enough to pay attention to my appearance. He didn't read my mind and know that I have PMS and be really affectionate toward me? He's probably going to break up with me.

This is awful for relationships, either platonic or romantic, and it's something I really need to work on. I'll assume I know why he did or said something when really, I have no idea. Then I get all mad and give him the cold shoulder because he should just know what I'm thinking. Nine times out of ten I'll storm out of the room and leave him with whiplash wondering what on earth just happened. It's super fun.

Sometimes when he's taking a shower and I'm upstairs watching Netflix or something I'll accidentally turn on the water in a sink or flush the toilet and forget that I just inadvertently made him feel like he was showering in the waters of Antarctica.

The other night I accidentally forgot to put the sour cream in the fridge and when I saw it on the counter the next day I was like "CRAP!" but then I figured that his house is like, 40 degrees at all times so it was basically in the fridge anyway, right? And both of us have since eaten that sour cream and nobody died or got indigestion so my logic was PERFECT and now that I think about it, this wasn't actually a mistake.

Sometimes, if I'm showering at his house, I don't clean out the drain and then when he pulls my hair clumps out - side note, how am I not bald? - I blame it on my dog. Because his golden retriever and beagle can TOTALLY leave long dark hairs in the tub. Totally.

No, because I don't want you to think I'm the only one who makes mistakes, let me air some of Keith's dirty laundry. His mistake is this:

He hasn't proposed yet. Oh and also he doesn't keep his wine cupboard stocked with cheap wine. And also he doesn't have a wine cupboard.

Monday, January 19, 2015

How much does my face cost?

I've been kind of obsessed with makeup ever since 6th grade when my older sister put some shimmy purple eyeshadow on my lids and silvery purple gloss on my lips and sent me off to church feeling like the hawtest (that's how I spelled "hottest" in 6th grade) human to ever grace the face of the earth. My sister didn't know the can of worms she was opening and she got really annoyed that every single day after that I begged her to put makeup on me. Then, in high school when I wasn't working at Subway or with Cristen hanging out at the video store, grocery store, or Denny's, I was staying up late putting my hair in ringlets and trying out different types of makeup. Through the years I've had lots of makeup hits and misses, like everyone. I went through stages where my face was a different shade than my neck, through a phase of tweezing my eyebrows WAY too thin, through a phase of putting body glitter all over my entire face and wearing dark blue eyeshadow to my cross country races, and through a phase of wearing so much makeup that you could have scraped it off of my face the way people scrape paint off of houses.

After all those hits, misses, and experimental phases, I've finally found a routine that works great for me and is also REALLY fast. My current daily makeup routine takes me between 5-7 minutes to complete.

For some reason I have a very vivid memory of my favorite English professor in college saying something about how if our homes caught on fire and we had to replace everything, our makeup and toiletries would have made an insane dent in our checking accounts. I don't know why that stuck out to me so much but I thought it would be fun to post about how much my face costs.
1. Primer. If you aren't using primer, you need to start. It makes SUCH a difference! It makes everything so smooth and it also makes my makeup stay on longer. I use the green redness correcting primer from e.l.f. at Target. I apply one pump all over my face (including eyelids - but lightly!) using my fingertips.

Cost = $6

2. BB cream. BB cream is like foundation, but way lighter. I think there's also a difference in the way it affects your face but to be honest, I haven't looked into that too much because it seems science-y and that doesn't excite me.. I love this BB cream because it gives me coverage and doesn't feel too heavy! I've tried the Cover Girl brand of BB cream and I can't tell you how much I hated it. I figured out the trick with BB cream is to not use too much. I use about a pea-sized amount and rub into my face using my fingertips.You can always apply more if you feel like you need it.

Cost: $6.29

3. Concealer. I don't use concealer every day, but when I do I use the FitMe concealer by Maybelline. It lasts for a long time and I love the coverage! When I use this I usually use it on the zits on my chin and around my eyes. Just dab it where you need it and then pat (don't rub!) it in with your fingertips. When patting around your eyes, use your ring finger. It's the weakest and will keep you from stretching and pulling on that delicate skin. I also like using it on my eyelids because it acts as a primer if I'm going to wear eyeshadow, or if I'm not, it at least evens out the skin coloring.

Cost: $5.49

4. Powder. Continuing with the Maybelline theme, I love the FitMe pressed powder. I use a cheap powder brush from e.l.f. to apply it. I never use the sponge thing it comes with ... but does anybody use that to apply powder? That's a serious question. I need to know. When you're applying this make sure to try and blend into your jawline.

Cost: $5.49

5. Blush. I'm not a big fan of blush because I have naturally rosy cheeks so I don't always put it on. I tried jumping on the bronzer bandwagon, but mixed with the red cheeks it just made my cheeks look weird. What I'm using now is this bouncy blush by Maybelline. I just rub a little on my fingertips, smile to make the apples of my cheeks pop, and lightly apply it there.

Cost: $5.50

6. Brows. I'm sure you're aware that 2014 was the year of the brow, right? Well, I'd like to think that I'm ahead of the trend in that I've been coloring in my brows since 2007. That's EIGHT YEARS, people!!! It all started because I had a job at a certain amusement park as a certain redhead which required me to color my brows red during every shift, and then when I wasn't working I felt naked if I didn't color my brows in, so I used some random brown eyeshadow and a stiff brush and colored in my brows. (Say "brows" one more time, Juliette.)In the eight years I've been doing my brows I've never liked the look of a pencil. For me, I feel like it looks way too harsh, so I opt for a stiff angled brush (I got mine from Sephora two years ago and it's the best $21 I've ever spent) and some eyeshadow. This is what I use to color in my brows. I'm looking for a lighter color, but until I find one I just go light on the coloring. When you're filling in your brows I'm BEGGING you not to go to dark. You don't want people to look at you and think, "Oh wow, she filled in her eyebrows," you want them to look at you and think, "Wow that girl has fantastic natural eyebrows!" Start lightly and just apply over your natural brown line. DO NOT PRESS TO HARD. IT WILL NOT LOOK GOOD. I MEAN IT.

Cost: $2.19

7. Eyeliner. If you're one of those people who is awesome at eyeliner then I partially hate you and I partially want you to come over and show me your secrets. I'm serious. I'm awful at eyeliner, so I don't use it the traditional way. I tightline. To tightline, pull your eyelid up so you can see the waterline of your lid, and apply the liner to the base of your lashes. It sounds freaky and it's hard to get the hang of at first, but here's a video to help you, you're welcome. Start at the 5:25 mark. I use a really cheap eyeliner by NYC that I get at Target. I only use the retractable eyeliner because does anybody REALLY have the time for sharpening pencils? No. No we do not.
Cost: $1.97

8. Mascara. Mascara is absolutely one of my favorite things. I am constantly buying new mascaras and then hating them and going back to my old tried and true: the colossal cat eye by Maybelline. I LOVE this mascara, and I've been using it for years. Seriously guys, I've tried mascaras with primers, I've tried the battery operated ones that vibrate, I've tried thick brushes, thing brushes, straight, curved, angled... and this is my favorite. You know how sometimes lashes look really thick, or clumpy, or spidery? I HATE THAT. It's the worst. To make sure this doesn't happen to you, here's a trick: place the brush at the base of your lashes, and wiggle it upwards. I usually do two coats of this and then use an eyelash comb to make sure the lashes are separated the way I want them. Also, don't use waterproof mascara on a daily basis. It's bad for your lashes.

Cost: $4.99

The total cost for these products is $37.92. I went through a period of time when I was spending $40 on ONE item (powder from Clinique/Mac, so this price seems kind of awesome to me. I think the average length of time I can use these products is a month and a half, which comes out to $.84/day. LESS THAN A DOLLAR A DAY.

What are some of your favorite products?
Is there anything you love that you think I should try?
Have you tried and hated any of these products? 


Monday, January 12, 2015

The most sparkly wedding

I have a confession: I'm having a hard time coming back to reality after such a wonderful weekend! If you're not aware, one of my old roommates and very best friends, Lisa, got married on Saturday. I was honored to be one of her bridesmaids and I can't get over how beautiful, and amazing, and full of love everything was. And of course, I wouldn't be a good blogger if I didn't recap every wonderful part of Lisa and Matt's wedding.

Thursday evening was the rehearsal and I have zero pictures of it, but it was great.

Friday evening I drove from the mountaintop down to San Clemente to meet Lisa and a couple of the other bridesmaids and it was almost impossible to find this hotel. My phone (which is notorious for giving me bad directions) sent me to a weird neighborhood, and then I finally saw the hotel sign but when I followed the sign I went to a 99 cent store and it took like 5 minutes of trying not to hyperventilate before I figured out I had to go behind the 99 cent store to find the hotel. Whoever was in charge of designing the driveway for this hotel needs to get fired. It was awful and everybody had trouble finding it.

On Lisa's last night as a Miss not Mrs, we talked about the wedding, the honeymoon, the other girls' weddings and honeymoons, and we had a photoshoot of Lisa's ringed finger on top of confetti and sequins. Lisa loves gold and glitter and all things girly more than anyone I know, and I feel like this picture of her hand was pretty toned down, actually.
The next morning, three of us mad a Starbucks run and we felt kiiiiiind of bad for asking the busy baristas to write "bride" and "bridesmaid" on our cups, but it was fine. The barista originally wrote "brive" instead of "bride" on Lisa's cup, but we were quick to point out his mistake and he laughed and clearly didn't understand how big of a mistake that was. What do boys learn in school?

Once we made it back to the hotel with the coffees, we forced Lisa to eat some breakfast so she didn't pass out in the middle of her vows (how much would that have sucked), and then we got down to business to defeeeeeeaat the Huns. It was HAIR AND MAKEUP TIME, BIOTCHES. I opted not to have my hair or makeup done because I'm high maintenance and also when I was in high school I spent a lot of nights in front of the mirror playing with my hair and makeup, so I feel pretty confident being in charge of everything above my neck.

I'm still doing no poo, and I washed my hair on Monday and Thursday, and so far I'm still loving the results of the no poo. I ended up styling my hair all on one side and I've never done it that way before but I think it's safe to say I'll be using this style again in the future. Also I don't know why whenever I took a picture of my hair I ended up looking like a huge jerk but that's just the way it worked out sorry.
 Everybody was a little nervous because it was raining off and on in the morning but when we did pictures at the church before the ceremony the clouds had dried up and it was perfect! It's glaringly obvious but I'll say it anyway: Lisa was the most beautiful bride, and the love and happiness she was feeling on Saturday just radiated everywhere.
 This wedding was different than any other wedding I've attended because of one thing: the timing. You know how most weddings start late? That's usually due to miscommunications and complications resulting in the wedding party not being ready on time, but not at the Aldridge wedding! At 2:50 the bridal party was sitting in the bridal suite totally ready. At invitation time (3PM) the coordinator came in and asked if we wanted to get started then or wait 10 more minutes for latecomers. It was obvious that Lisa did NOT want to wait, but she said, "Ten minutes but NO MORE!" She was more than ready to walk down that aisle and her excitement was palpable.

We passed the time by taking pictures, as you do in those situations.
Bridal party waiting for things to get started!
The bridesmaids and ringbearer
Rachelle, one of my college roommates and Lisa's friend for the past 26 years
 And now I'd like to tell you the story of Lisa's wedding dress. Six years ago Lisa and I worked at a bridal salon selling wedding dresses, and every once in a while we would go to bridal fairs and model wedding and bridesmaid dresses. The photo on the left is us in November of 2009 at one of those shows. The photo on the right is us at Lisa's wedding. You notice it's the same dress, right? Well, a couple of times a year our store would have "sample sales," where we would sell sample dresses for $99. For one of these sample sales we got a box of brand new dresses, and as we were pulling them out of the box we realized that one of them was a brand new $2,500ish gown! Immediately we knew  that somebody from our store needed to buy it. For the past few months, our company had also been involved in a contest which gave the winning store a $100 Visa gift card for every employee. That day (or maybe a day or two prior, I don't remember) we found out that our store had one! Lisa decided to buy this dress with her gift card, which meant that all she paid for her dress was whatever the California tax on $99 was in 2010! I think it was like, $8.00.

TL;DR: Lisa paid about $8.00 for a $2,500 gown. She's had that dress in her parents' closet for almost 5 years, and on Saturday, she wore it to marry the love of her life.
 The ceremony was beautiful. It was held at the Mariner's Chapel in Irvine, CA, and I seriously cannot wait to see more pictures from the ceremony.

Even though Lisa's dress had been at her parents' house for the past 5 years, her father had never looked at it. Lias would go home periodically and try it on to see if it still fit (it always did), but her dad made a point to never see her in her dress, because he wanted to be surprised on her wedding day.

When he was getting ready to see her in her wedding dress for the first time I think everybody cried. He, however, did a great job of lightening the mood and didn't shed a tear. I have a feeling it took everything in him to hold it together.

Lisa was one of the most ravishing brides I've ever seen. I remember so many nights we spent in our apartment dreaming of our wedding days and I know Saturday was more than she ever dreamed it would be, and I just can't say how happy I am for her and Matt.

Just stunning.

Our bridesmaid outfits were fantastic!! Lisa, as the most sparkly person anybody knows, wanted us all in long sequinned rose gold skirts, so we had them made by Love, Alana. We wore white flowy tops from Express, and whatever shoes we wanted. The sequins on the dress fell off as we walked so we pretty much left a trail of glitter wherever we went and it was awesome. The whole thing turned out beautifully, as you can see below.

Since the skirts were so form-fitting I knew I needed shapewear so I headed to Target and picked up some spanx. I don't remember the brand but what I got was like $20 and there were butt pockets to add lift and if you're looking for shapewear GET BUTT POCKETS TO ADD LIFT. Seriously. It was amazing.

After the ceremony we took some wedding party pictures, and then we all headed to the reception. Cortney's husband Travis was a saint and picked up a bunch of In N Out burgers, so we all got to inhale half a burger on the way to the reception. If you're planning a wedding and your reception is in a different location than the ceremony, find somebody to get In N Out or some kind of fast food to give your wedding party a little bit more energy. Trust me. It was a saving grace.

At the reception I threw back a couple of glasses of wine before the open bar ended, and Keith made friends with some guys who were watching the Seahawks game that was playing on a tv somewhere, and then I headed downstairs to remove Lisa's veil, bustle her dress, and take some more pictures

This is absolutely one of my favorite pictures. Hannah is drinking wine, Carizza is fixing Lisa's garter, and I'm gnawing on a cube of cheese. You can thank the best man for this candid picture that will never cease to make me laugh and I'm seriously considering Instagramming it.

Lisa and Matt danced to "At Last" by Etta James, and it was beautiful. The wedding party stood by the dance floor while they danced, and then we took our seats at the classiest tables I've ever seen.

Gold flatware... we would expect nothing less from Lisa
And please take note of their incredible cake! It was a mix of chocolate and, my favorite: funfetti!!!

Keith and I enjoyed taking a few selfies during dinner. Also I tricked the servers into giving me lots of white wine and exchanging my chicken for salmon.

I had the most handsome date there. For SURE.

At one point Hannah and I excused ourselves to use the restroom. While there we decided to try out Mary Kate and Ashley's way of posing by saying the word "prune" while the camera clicked. Seriously, that's how they get their faces to look that way. We totally nailed it.
Then Keith and I and Cortney and Travis excused ourselves to take couple pictures outside. Cortney and Travis posed us for the following picture and I will forever be indebted to them because it's absolutely one of my very favorite pictures of the two of us.

  And that was it. The whole weekend was just wonderful and I am so happy for Lisa and Matt!! Also I'm trying to think of somewhere to wear my sparkly skirt again because even though it scratched my arm all up I love it.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Four eyes isn't an insult anymore

*This is a sponsored post, but all opinions are my own*

I'm practically blind, did you know that? When I was younger and playing sports my glasses were really thick and I got teased about them all the time. Now, the glasses that I wear are still thick, but so are the frames, so you can't really tell. You also can't tell because I haven't gotten new glasses in like, almost 5 years, and my eyes have gotten significantly worse since that happened, so if I wear my glasses I still have to squint and even then it's hard to read things and tell who people are.

If I'm not wearing my glasses or contacts, forget about it. Keith makes fun of me all the time, because even when I'm wearing my corrective lenses, I have to squint at the tv, menus at restaurants, signs on the freeway, books I'm reading, the computer screen... you get the idea.

I've been needing new glasses for a long time but keep putting off getting new ones because who has the time to actually go to an optometrist? Not this girl!! Enter: Firmoo.

Firmoo is probably where I'm going to be ordering all of my glasses from now on. My favorite thing about Firmoo is that they allow you to virtually try on any frames you want! Just upload a forward-facing photo of yourself and you can see how any of their frames look on your face. They offer a variety of styles, from modern to classic to vintage... and I had a hard time just choosing one pair!

 If you're in need of new frames, go to Firmoo. Seriously, I loved my experience with them and would recommend them to anyone!

Monday, January 5, 2015

No 'poo for you!

If you didn't catch what the title of my post referenced, it's the Soup nazi episode from Seinfeld. "No soup for you!

I go through phases with my hair. Sometimes I'll wash it daily, sometimes every other day, and sometimes every 3-4 days. It really just depends on how busy life is, if I'm sweating a lot, etc. Currently I'm in a new hair phase: I don't really wash my hair. That's not true. For most of December I was only washing my hair on Saturdays and using baby powder to soak up the grease on all the other days. Keith said that's "disgusting" but if I hadn't told him that was how little I wash my hair he NEVER WOULD HAVE KNOWN.

Yesterday was Saturday and I had every intention of washing my hair, but then Keith and I decided to go see The Hobbit and washing my hair just didn't seem like it was that important. So today I decided I was definitely going to wash my hair, but then I ran into a problem: I couldn't find my shampoo or conditioner. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but I was already in the shower when I realized it, and getting out and looking for it seemed like WAY too much work, so the only other option was to just rinse my hair because according the the internet, your hair produces natural oils or something that clean and condition it. I'm not sure about all of the details but if you just google "no poo hair washing method" or "is using shampoo and conditioner really necessary" you'll be able to figure out the answers for yourself. Probably.

After rinsing my hair I put BioSilk Silk Therapy (get it at TJ Maxx for cheap) serum on the ends as I do every time I wash my hair and I blew it dry. Then I used some Not Your Mother's dry shampoo and blew it dry some more and made sure to rub it in, and the texture was weird but if you were just looking at my hair you couldn't tell that it hadn't seen shampoo in about a week and a half. I'm disgusting, I know.

Basically, for the last week or so I've been seriously considering the "no 'poo" method of hair washing. What you do is wash your hair with a baking soda/water mixture, and condition it with apple cider vinegar. The idea is that those ingredients are natural and your hair produces enough oils in it to keep it healthy, shiny, bouncy, and whatever other adjectives are desired for hair. I think a large reason people do this is to only use natural products on hair, and I think another reason they do it is to save money.

My reason is curiosity. I'm curious what these products will do to my hair. I read that the major reason people hate this method or quit doing it is because of the dreaded "transition period." It's the 2-8 week period that it takes your hair to adjust to not washing it with products containing sulfate. Apparently during that period your hair just goes crazy and gets really greasy and disgusting. My hope is that since I don't shampoo my hair very often now, the transition period either won't apply to me or won't last very long.

I'm unclear about some things though. Like, does it really count if i use dry shampoo or baby powder? What about if I use other products, like my silk therapy serum? Are my reasons for this stupid? Since I'm still planning on using heat and hairspray, will this whole "no 'poo" thing really actually make a difference?

I don't know. But I'm going to do it.

So, today I'm going to no 'poo my hair for the first time and we'll see how it goes. The ratio for baking soda to water and apple cider vinegar to water is 1 tablespoon to 1 cup for each. The only thing I'm cutting out is shampoo and conditioner. I'm still going to use my silk therapy after each wash (because it's amazing) and I'll use my dry shampoo as needed. I'm in a wedding on Saturday so I'm a little nervous about my hair being gross for that, but hopefully it will be fine. I'm just a bridesmaid so nobody will be looking at me anyway. Except Keith.

I'll try to take pictures every few days to keep track of what my hair looks like, but sometimes I'm forgetful so I'm not making any promises. But this is what my hair looks like after nine days of no shampoo, on the day I rinsed it and used dry shampoo.

  Now, I really want to hear your opinions. Have you heard of the no 'poo method? Have you ever done it? How often do you wash your hair? What other hair products do you use? Do you think I'm totally disgusting? (It's okay if you do.)