Things I'm more afraid of than coming down with Ebola
I told Keith I couldn't watch any more football with him because I had to work on my novel for #NaNoWriMo, but here I am writing a blog post instead. And on a Saturday night, no less. WHAAAAT IS HAAAAPPENING? My blogging mojo has been really low lately, I think because I feel like I have nothing to blog about since, well, I'm funemployed and lately I spend my days watching Netflixsleeping writing. My system is totally messed up since I moved, but I'm ok with it. Hopefully things on the job front will start looking up soon, and if not, I haven't forgotten about being the first Real Housewife of the Mountaintop.
Regarding the paragraph above: I had every intention of finishing this post on Saturday night and scheduling it for 6am this morning but then I got really lazy and we started watching Amazing Race and well, clearly that didn't happen.
Let's just move on.
Do you remember a few years ago when everybody was terrified of swine flu? It was like, THE THING to be afraid of. I never got swine flu, and I never new anybody who came down with swine flu, even though apparently TONS of people were getting sick and anytime anybody coughed people were like, "DO YOU HAVE SWINE FLU HERE PUT ON THIS FACE MASK SO YOU DON'T INFECT ANYBODY."
And before that everybody was terrified of carbs. Like, everybody was on the Atkins diet. I know this because I worked at Subway when wraps were a big deal and people were like, ordering wraps with cheese and bacon because NO CARBS and they'd get a Diet Coke and I was just like, how is this helping you lose weight??? But really, anything that allows me to gorge myself on bacon and cheese is ok with me so many Atkins isn't that bad.
Then people were like, oh, let's eat paleo and gluten free because everybody else is doing it! I think the gluten "allergy" drives me crazy more than any thing else. Don't get all mad at me for saying that, please. I know some people legitimately have gluten allergies but NOT EVERYBODY DOES. And I think if you want to eat gluten free just to be healthier you should just admit that and not pretend like you have an actual allergy. If I had Celiac disease I would be annoyed by people who were faking it.
And NOW, the fad disease that's sweeping the nation is Ebola. I completely understand that Ebola is a really big deal and it's a big problem and people die,and I'm not discounting that. What I don't understand is people being so afraid of Ebola. I get it if you live in or around the cities where people have contracted Ebola, but to my knowledge, nobody in CA has been infected. And if they have, well, denial isn't just a river in Egypt. So I don't really feel like there's any point in being afraid of it or worrying about it. Remember, worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but you don't get anywhere.
With that, let me just give you a little rundown of things I'm more afraid of than being infected with Ebola.
-The pipes at Keith's parents' house freezing (because winter and snow and mountaintops) and me not knowing what to do and their house getting completely ruined and them hating me and banishing me.
-Being abducted by Jigsaw.
-Slipping my bare foot into a shoe and feeling a massive (and obviously poisonous) spider.
-Stepping on a spider barefoot, period.
-A snake hiding in the toilet and biting my derriere in the middle of the night when I go do my bidness.
-The brakes in my car going out while I'm driving downhill on the curvy mountain road.
-Taking a sip of water and seeing a spider in my cup.
-Accidentally double tapping a picture on an Instagram that I don't follow (oops that happened over the weekend).
-Never finding a job and being unemployed for-e-ver.
-All my teeth falling out.
-Something bad happening to the dogs while I'm with them.
-And probably most importantly: being hit by a bus.