Wednesday, November 13, 2013

17 things every single girl needs to hear



1. You can do fun things without having a boyfriend.

2. Being single isn't synonymous with being lonely.

3. Your happiness is not dependent upon whether or not you have a boyfriend, and having a boyfriend will not automatically guarantee your happiness.

4. Being in a relationship will not make your problems magically go away. You will still have bills, and body issues, and family drama, and anxiety, and whatever else you face daily. Chances are that having a boyfriend will actually make life more complicated.

5. You can "have it all" and still not have a boyfriend. You determine what your "all" is.

6. When people tell you to "stop looking," that's bullshit. Nobody ever really stops looking; they just want you to stop talking about it.

7. It's perfectly acceptable to date two guys in one week. However, it is not acceptable to date two guys in one night. That's just rude. And exhausting.

8. Stop asking your friends why you don't have a boyfriend/when you're going to get a boyfriend/if you'll ever find love again. Nobody has the answer to any of those questions, and they're probably annoyed of you constantly putting yourself down and fishing for compliments.

9. Yes, you're beautiful. No, you don't look like Mila Kunis, Kerry Washington, or Blake Lively. They're Hollywood enhanced and that doesn't count as real.

10. Look at yourself objectively. If you were a guy, would you want to date you? Are you constantly thinking of the negatives in life, or would you provide upbeat and thoughtful conversation during a date? Are you passionate about anything, or do you just agree with what ever the person you're with is talking about? Nobody wants to go on a date with a bad conversationalist.

11. You need to be passionate about something other than finding a relationship. If you're not, then you'll have nothing to give if/when you find a boyfriend.

12. I promise, if you look at your life, you can find things that make you happy that are unrelated to being in a relationship. I promise. Don't dwell on the negatives.

13. Sure, you control your future, but you don't really control your relationship future. That's dependent upon someone else. Someone else has to decide they like you, and love you, and want to marry you. Stop living life just waiting for someone else to come to the realization that you're worth it. You are, but just because you are doesn't mean you'll get married.

14. Hollywood has influenced our culture so much that love is the ultimate goal. This has led to most women feeling inadequate if we're single. This is a lie. Don't be ashamed of being single, and don't feel like you're doing something wrong if you don't have a boyfriend.

15. Stop thinking about all the things that are wrong with you. Everyone has flaws. If there's something about yourself you're genuinely unhappy with, change it. But change it for you, not because you're hoping that change will bring you a man.

16. Man-bashing isn't attractive. Fun, yes, but in the end it just makes you bitter.

17. It's ok to want a relationship. It's ok. But when it starts interfering with your happiness and your self-worth, it's time to change something. Your happiness depends on you. And you are enough. 
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41 comments:

  1. I got married this past summer, and while I wouldn't change a thing out it, I wish I had enjoyed my single time more. That's something that you can never get back, and while I don't want to go back, I wish I had really lived it up and done all kinds of crazy stuff instead of wondering why I hadn't found a husband yet when all of my friends had! :)

    Great advice! :)

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  2. This is everything and I needed this reality check today.

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  3. This is a really great post Juliette! Some of these still apply to non-single people so that makes it even more awesome. And I'll definitely be passing the link on to my single friends :)

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  4. You already know this, but this is my favorite blog post in the history of all blog posts. Well done sista friend!

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  5. Oh man, how true are all of these! I got married a month ago today and let me tell you - so many of these things apply still, and possibly even MORE, now that I'm a wife. I'm my own person, but I'm half of a team. It's so important for each of us to be strong, multidimentional, and unique.

    I posted last month on my blog advice a friend gave about marriage, but it applies to relationships in general -- the gist is that people who think relationships or marriage GIVE you something are wrong. YOU give something TO a relationship/marriage. View a relationship as a box -- it's empty when it starts and you need to put things into it. Your passions, your interests, your love, your support. Those things go in -- you can't take those out of the Relationship Box without putting them in first.

    Rambling, but in general YAY to this post!

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  6. This is perfect! I usually find that I'm happier being single. There's no one else to worry about or get in the way of my happiness.

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  7. This is so great and so true! Thanks for sharing!

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  8. Yeah so thanks for a great big wake up call this morning. Actually had a conversation very similar to this last night. Your self-worth is not dependent on a man. You don't need a relationship to feel validated.

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  9. This list is perfect. Bookmarking for all future pity partys! For a friend of course...

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  10. Love love LOVE this. I'm 23 & have been divorced now for a year and it's taken me this long to realize being single is actually a blessing and something to enjoy while I can.

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  11. Nailed it! Even though I'm in a relationship I agree with agree lol of these things hands down... ultimately it comes down to loving ourselves first!

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  12. Did you write this with me in mind?! I love you so much. xo

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  14. LOVE IT! way to be sista! Number 6 made me laugh out loud at work and then come up with some lame cover story about how I wasn't reading blogs at work. It is always good to be reminded to be happy where ever you find yourself in life.

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  15. Ahh when I tell you I NEEDED to read this today..I did! I loved every single last point especially #15

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  16. I wish I would have read this when I was single and struggling with all of these things!

    - Tracey @ Just a Trace

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  17. I love this! I've been single now for a year, since I moved out from the ex-husband last October. This is the longest I've been single since I was 13. You know what? I kind of like it. I wish more girls could learn to appreciate their time with themselves.

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  18. I did a post on being single yesterday! THIS IS PERFECTION!!!!!

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  19. Lovvve this (like everyone has already said, but whatev's) but really. The single community in blogland is SO SUPPORTIVE of each other and I love it. So when I see posts like this...it just warms my heart. You da bomb.com

    › xo fal • falfindshappiness.blogspot.com

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  20. Great post. I'm married and have pretty much had a boyfriend since the time I was 15. I'm not going to lie there are times when I wish I would have had some "single time" to really figure out who I am. I feel like it's something I've had to do while in relationships and trust me.. that's not easy!

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  21. Nailed it, my friend. And I can say that because I was single a few months ago and these are all of the things that are true. SNAPS FOR JULIETTE.

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  22. this is very accurate. i'm not single but i hate when there is "single bashing" it's wonderful and there are so many great things about it.

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  23. So perfectly stated!!! After a painful break up during my twenties, I thought I'd always be broken and unfulfilled unless I found a boyfriend. It took a lot of time, but I learned that I am enough - and I had some of my best memories doing things that made ME happy. I came into my own. You are born as an independent person. You are enough by yourself. Finding a partner is just an added bonus. Every single girl should have this on their bedside.

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  24. This is perfect! #4 is me. In a nut shell, and reading this made my morning!

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  25. sometimes it's hard to be, what feels like, the only single person around all of the happy couples, but all of this is so true. and i so needed to read this. thanks for such a real, and deep post. :)
    Nicole @ A Peek Into New Chapters

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  26. I needed this. Amen to this all. Thanks :)

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  27. You are like a wise little buddha, all covered in fur. I loved being single and I loved the drama of dating. You go, girl. You go.

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  28. I love this and it will now be spammed on all of my social media

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  29. Loving this list. Loving it!! Thanks for sharing!

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  30. I just stumbled upon your blog today and I must say that I was floored by this. So insightful and thought provoking. #10 is fantastic. It also relates to friendships as well. Would I want to be friends with me? LOVE this! And #6 cracked my shit up. Thanks!

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  31. I love this! Especially the part about how nobody really stops looking because its true you can focus on yourself all you want but part of you will ALWAYS be looking in someway.

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  32. Awesome post! It took me a while, but I eventually got to the point of enjoying single - that's about the time my boyfriend came in the picture. We dated for a year and then he had to move due to his job. So, now we're faced with long distance for a year. I'm glad I learned how to enjoy being single - it's helping me a lot right now! This is a great post - wish I'd read it a couple of years ago. :)

    Great blog! Glad I found it.
    - Pam @ Stolen Moments

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  33. Wow i needed this tonight. Right now, Right this moment, I NEEDED TO READ this. Thank you.

    @elizzkathrynn

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