It made me feel a little bit like this:
For another thing, when I'm in bed I am never lying flat on my back staring straight up at the ceiling. Hell to the naw. If I'm on my back one arm is usually over my head and the other is around Mr. Quackers. Then I'll usually roll to one side, and eventually I'll roll all the way over onto my belly with Mr. Quackers under me and one arm wrapped around a pillow. It's a process and I didn't feel comfortable testing that process while Mr. Open Toes
judged watched me. I mean REALLY do any of you just lie down in bed flat on your back and stay like that all night? NO. YOU DO NOT.
It was obvious that I wasn't going to find the perfect mattress at the fancy mattress store with Mr. Open Toes, so I went to Sears. Sears was almost more awkward because no one was helping me so I was blindly walking among the mattresses just looking for one that wasn't going to make me cry AKA one that was not $798 on sale. Guess what? I didn't find one. I did see a man just lying on a mattress taking a nap even though there are so many signs that specifically say not to do that. It looked like this:
I checked and the mattress was so expensive that the guy may as well have been lying on a huge pile of money. I also saw another sign that made me giggle because I'm a junior high boy.
And that's why I will probably be sleeping on the floor or the couch for the first few nights at my new apartment which I am not blogging about until we sign the lease because I don't want to get ahead of myself even though I've already tweeted about it and told my friends and my Grandma because I'm going to party on Margarita Street and you can come too!!