Thursday, July 25, 2013

Honest Reactions

     My first-ever niece is making her grand appearance sometime in September, and I couldn't be more thrilled! I mean really, I've been wanting to be an aunt ever since my oldest brother turned 18 and could legally get married and have kids...and that was 13 years ago, so I've been waiting for what feels like FOREVER. So, to celebrate this little bundle of joy who(m?) I'm going to spoil rotten, I'm throwing my sister a baby shower on Saturday, and it has to be the best because it's making up for what a horrible maid of honor I was when she got married. It wasn't totally my fault because I lived 241 miles away and had no money, but I still feel bad about it. And thanks to Pinterest I have a billion and two ideas that include pinwheels, mason jars, cupcake toppers, more pinwheels, etc etc etc.

     So basically my mind has been on "baby shower" mode all week, which is fine, but it's given me little to no patience to interact with humans. Like, I wish I could say, "Please leave, I need to cut out some pink elephants right now," but that's not very nice. That's why I was so irritated when a wholesaler came into my office this morning and I had to listen to him talk about his cat and his apartment and Ce Lo Green and the weather for 25 minutes. I sat there and smiled and engaged in the conversation, but in my head things were completely different. And since I recently discovered how to put moving pictures of myself in these posts, that's what you're getting. Moving pictures are WAY more fun than still pictures. So watch some of my honest reactions to what he was saying.

"Well, I'm actually kind of a mutt. I've lived all over the US except for the Pacific Northwest. I've lived everywhere. Now I live in downtown LA on the 30th floor of a 34 story building. There's a helipad on the roof."

How I wished I could respond...

"I have a cat. It's a 9 month old teacup long haired Persian. CeeLo Green lives next door to me and he has the EXACT SAME CAT! We had play dates until his cat hit my cat. My cat didn't like it. I have a cat walker."

How I felt...

"His name is Danger. I got him from a breeder in Colorado. It was my girlfriend's idea."

You had a girlfriend???

"Well, I guess I'll just go now. No no no, I can't stay and have coffee. I'll come back in three weeks."


I'm not even sorry for putting you through that.
What kinds of things turn your brains to mush?

 photo ScreenShot2013-06-23at112320PM_zps46bb1b5d.png


  1. Wait, he lives next to CeeLo? What about the bird, did he mention that?
    I have so many questions now.

  2. Co-workers with weird drama they want to discuss, who walk in my office basically mid sentence about whoever and they just assume I care enough to mentally catalog all their "people" so I can just pick up and join the convo...

  3. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. haha...Well, not the conversation you had to endure. But your wannabe reactions. If only we could really show/tell people how we welft without any consequences. haha

  4. oh my gosh yes. YES. Every single minute of my day at work. Except I don't think I'm nearly as polite as you are. Like, take non-verbal cues, people! If the other person's eyes are glazing over, it's probably a sign the conversation is O-V-E-R

  5. If only the clients I talk to every day could see my face when they call! Thankfully they can't. Love this post!

  6. I just can't get over the GIFs of you. How did you make those. I am obsessed. Please make a googly eyed GIF. Also, he needs to tell you more Ceelo stories. I bet he's a real weirdo.

  7. HAHAHA those gifs are amazing. I think he should have concentrated more on the fact that he knew CeeLo and less on the fact that he has a cat walker.

  8. bahahaha this is awesome.
    There are co-workers that feel the need to tell me EVERYTHING about their lives. I'm 27...they're like 45+ - I feel like they would understand the age gap and realize we are from different generations and I don't care about their 12 grand-kids and the pie they made over the weekend.

  9. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with people on a daily basis with my's Heaven really! BTW your hair is so cute in your awesome gifs!

  10. Snort laughing at my desk....oh if only people could hear my actual inner monologue. Actually its better they don't. So glad miss Whitney mentioned you...I've been scrolling through and reading. Girl you're hilar.

  11. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you're hilarious Juliette! Can I be you?!!

  12. These GIFs are awesome! You're gorgeous! I totally have that same inner monologue happening when people talk to me sometimes. So glad I stopped by your blog!

  13. Hahahaa, I love it! I found your blog through Whitney's (I wore yoga pants).

    What eyeliner and mascara do you use?! Your eye make up looks awesome!!

  14. Ha-ha 'You had a girlfriend?!' Yep - HAD! :) Have fun with baby shower prep!

  15. Ahhhh You know what turns my brain to mush? When someone asks me if I saw/tried/watched/heard about whatever and I say no but they keep talking about it IN DETAIL.
    "Hey, did you watch the super bowl?"
    "Nope. I don't do football. I barely know what sports are."
    "Oh man! The game was crazy, touch down, score, 3 pointer, beer, wasted, chips & salsa blah blah."

    "Do you snowboard?"
    "Nope, tried it once & failed. hated it."
    "Oh man! I just went blah blah sweet powder and I do tricks! look at this gnarly bruise! You have to try it."

    In my head I'm doing that 4th grader "Not listening! Not listening! Nah Nah Nah"


  16. LOVE your moving pictures. It's kind of like in the Harry Potter books/movies but better! I can't believe you engaged in the conversation. I would have lost it and put my "I'm grumpy leave me alone face" on.

  17. This is why I love you. Seriously. You just completely made my damn morning.

    I would totally be all over those CeeLo stories - now I have questions.