My first-ever niece is making her grand appearance sometime in September, and I couldn't be more thrilled! I mean really, I've been wanting to be an aunt ever since my oldest brother turned 18 and could legally get married and have kids...and that was 13 years ago, so I've been waiting for what feels like FOREVER. So, to celebrate this little bundle of joy who(m?) I'm going to spoil rotten, I'm throwing my sister a baby shower on Saturday, and it has to be the best because it's making up for what a horrible maid of honor I was when she got married. It wasn't totally my fault because I lived 241 miles away and had no money, but I still feel bad about it. And thanks to Pinterest I have a billion and two ideas that include pinwheels, mason jars, cupcake toppers, more pinwheels, etc etc etc.
So basically my mind has been on "baby shower" mode all week, which is fine, but it's given me little to no patience to interact with humans. Like, I wish I could say, "Please leave, I need to cut out some pink elephants right now," but that's not very nice. That's why I was so irritated when a wholesaler came into my office this morning and I had to listen to him talk about his cat and his apartment and Ce Lo Green and the weather for 25 minutes. I sat there and smiled and engaged in the conversation, but in my head things were completely different. And since I recently discovered how to put moving pictures of myself in these posts, that's what you're getting. Moving pictures are WAY more fun than still pictures. So watch some of my honest reactions to what he was saying.
"Well, I'm actually kind of a mutt. I've lived all over the US except for the Pacific Northwest. I've lived everywhere. Now I live in downtown LA on the 30th floor of a 34 story building. There's a helipad on the roof."
How I wished I could respond...
"I have a cat. It's a 9 month old teacup long haired Persian. CeeLo Green lives next door to me and he has the EXACT SAME CAT! We had play dates until his cat hit my cat. My cat didn't like it. I have a cat walker."
How I felt...
"His name is Danger. I got him from a breeder in Colorado. It was my girlfriend's idea."
You had a girlfriend???
"Well, I guess I'll just go now. No no no, I can't stay and have coffee. I'll come back in three weeks."
I'm not even sorry for putting you through that.
What kinds of things turn your brains to mush?