Let's get straight to the point: it's Friday, errybody's backing their azzes up with Whitney, and I have a million and twenty-seven pictures to share. So hit play, shake yo' thang, and let's do it to it (what does that even mean?).
When I lived in Southern CA I'd put in this cd and dance around the apartment with a
glass bottle of (cheap) champagne as my microphone. It was classy.
If you follow me on Twitter then you already know about my recent obsession with googly eyes. Well, Allie asked me when I'm doing a post about the googly eyes and I told her Friday, so here we are. I started googly eyeing because I thought it'd be entertaining and guess what? IT IS. I started out putting the eyes on things that were just in my office, like this:
By the way, the Brita pitcher is saying, "Please keep me filled if you don't want to get punched! Thanks!"
Then I took it to another level and put some on my face and other stuff.
The Starbucks cup is one of my favorites, she looks like she saw something pleasantly surprising.
Oh hey, now please listen to this song that I was backing my azz up to in Hollywood in 2007.
The next day I decided I'd googly eyed everything in my office that I could, so I walked down to the drugstore and wandered the aisles putting these eyes on everything I could find. Guess what? At 9am all the employees are in the store and if they catch you wandering up and down aisles pulling things out of your purse and taking pictures, they're gonna stop you multiple times and ask you if you need help. Smile, say No, and continue with the mission.
Guys, shake weights are inappropriate as it is. I mean, I definitely have a green one, and I use it, but it was a no-brainer...of course this shake weight guy needed googly eyes. It just makes him look more intense as he stares at his own shake weight.
(PS have you seen the SNL parody of the shake weight commercial? Viewer discretion advised and stuff.)
Oh, it's time to change the song again.
Target also has great things to googly eye. I think I spent a half hour just searching for things that I could use to make a face with. Jacey doesn't think this is a worthwhile hobby, but Jacey, I'm ignoring that.
So by that point, I was worn out and needed an adult beverage.
And nothing makes me feel more adult than googly eyes (lie)!!!
Tape doesn't stick on glass that has condensation so you need to get creative.
What? Did someone say creative? Fine, hand me the salt shaker and the ketchup bottle and I'll show you creative!
At this point, the people who were with me at Applebee's thought this was the weirdest thing they'd ever seen. One of them suggested I either get a boyfriend or go to therapy. Obviously I just rolled my eyes and kept on keeping on with my googly eye mission. I mean really, we all know how I feel about boyfriends and dating, don't we?
A few minutes later I noticed a big bottle of Grey Goose behind the bar, so I not-so-casually asked the bartender if I could "see it just for a minute, I'm not gonna pour any or anything." She laughed and handed it to me, and I stuck a googly eye on it and handed it right back to her. She didn't even notice. So now the bar at Applebee's looks like this:
Well, unless a manager saw it and demanded the eyes be removed which, I think, would be a bad decision. Where's your sense of humor?
FINALLY my friends realized how fun this was, so we tag-teamed the wall.
We walked by this picture, one at a time, and stuck two googly eyes on this football player's face.
And I hope when we go there next week they're still there, but lezbihonest, if they aren't we all know I'm just gonna stick some more up there because I travel with googly eyes in my purse.
Oh, then we had to do this one right before we left.
|So there you go: the art of googly eyeing. Don't say I never tried to be entertaining!|
Oh, and one last song for you. Turn up the volume and shake it like a Polaroid picture.
Just kidding. This was a BAZINGA or catfish or whatever.