Sunday, April 10, 2011

Whining like a two year old

     Dating sucks. I've always (somewhat secretly) considered myself to be a cynic, pessimist, glass-half-empty kind of person, and my views on dating are no exception. I think people who say "dating is fun!!" are smoking something. What's fun about it? The awkward, forced conversation? Trying to figure out if the butterflies in your stomach are feelings or just the pangs of a bad dinner? Making sure you keep your arms controlled at your sides so you don't hit his arm and make him think you're desperate? Having to offer to pay and making it seem sincere? HAVING TO PAY? Trying to figure out what to wear? Not getting another phone call and then eating your feelings and thus viewing yourself as too sad and pathetic to go on another date for a while? All of the above?


     I despise mundane conversation. It's so BORING (duh. mundane.). And mundane conversation is even worse when it's in the beginning throes of a possible (yet unlikely) relationship. And sometimes it's really hard to keep yourself from yawning in the middle of a really boring story.

     I really haven't been on too many bad dates. I mean, there was the one that I was FORCED to go on (freshman year, and that's another story) where the guy bought makeup for himself and tried on girl jewelry and gawked at Gerard Butler's abs in 300. Then there was the date that I never actually went on, because I got stood up and years later found out that the guy who was supposed to take me out went on our date with another girl on THE SAME NIGHT. She and I are friends now. They're both married, not to each other, but how funny would that have been? Then there was the blind date late last year with the late twentysomething who talked excessively about his ex girlfriend of 4 years who had just dumped him 3 months prior, and they lived together, and would I like to do this again sometime?

    One of my least favorite things to hear is you're so young! Dating is soooooooo much fun! Don't settle down too soon! Be yourself! Blah blah blah blah blah. It's not like I'm itching to get married or anything, I just hate that I dread the beginnings so much. I've had to be talked out of canceling an hour prior to being picked up on several occasions. But it SHOULD be exciting. And I guess with the right person it will be, at least that's what everyone else says. But so far, nothing.

     And so for now, when Grandma asks me if there is "a special someone in my life?" I will continue to tell her "whatever are you talking about, Grandma?" and chuckle as I hear her say, "Well, it will happen sooner or later. Don't lose hope! Someday!" Thanks for the vote of confidence.

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